Last Thursday, I had an at-home retreat.

Airplane mode,

Router Unplugged,

TV covered with a blanket,

and an intention to sit with myself to feel into what is rising up within.

I started at 9 AM and ended around 8/8:30 PM.

For the most part, I was silent.

Just allowing my mind to settle along with my thoughts.

Then, closer to the end and during a walking meditation outside, I thought, “This is my retreat, I can speak when I feel necessary”. 

And so I did.

Hi! If you are new to reading this. My name is Ashley, and in my personal journey, I am looking to uncover a deeper and more peaceful inner life so that I can be a grounded person for those around me (including my work).

Last year, I attended a 1-day Vipassana, aka a silent meditation, where you focus on the breath. You allow thoughts and sensations to arise and fall away.

Usually, for a 1-day mediation, I feel it to be a challenge, but this time, at home…

It was different.

It had been on my mind since last December.

And I was thrilled to do this for myself!

I prepped the night before to make sure I have everything I need to set the stage for tomorrow.

It was truly a gift to my inner self.

You see, right now I have the time freedom to take a day off and settle in.

To disconnect from the bombardment of the day-to-day work,

checking my phone non-stop because I am a recovering people pleaser,

and the overstimulated mind that just wants to scroll… or zone out watching a tv show episode or 5.

Here are 3 impactful moments I had during my self-led at-home retreat.

1. Pause and breathe more.
Doing this means that I can allow any emotion rising up to fade away faster. I know my intentions are good. It’s the time to tune in and re-focus.

2. Cultivate your heart mind.

In moments of silence, where does your mind wander? Can you dig deep within your internal strength to find out without judgment?

To me, cultivating your heart mind means, if a negative thought comes up, do you feed it or do you correct it?

We live in a world where there is so much judgment and negativity. It can be as simple as frequently saying, “UGHHH ITS SOOOO CUOLD OUT SIIIIDE I HATE IT”. When we really choose to live where we live… We have the choice to follow others in their pursuit of annoyance or frustration, or follow a different moral way that speaks good thoughts.

I’m not saying to deny yourself the ability to be annoyed or that being in a cold place is not a challenge… YES, express yourself! 

It’s more of an honest conversation with yourself to see if what you are saying or how you are saying it is leading to goodness in your life and others. Or is it only making your life a repetition of suffering?

When we can have gratitude for what we have, examples such as: if you have a roof over your head, food to eat and health. You are doing pretty good.

As someone who is known to push against the “norm”, coming back to this heart mind in mediation felt like coming home again.

3. Protect your peace.

Light brings up darkness. Don’t let the perception of others’ ideals, energy, or words break your peace.

Only you alone have the ability to protect your peace.

I still have work to do to cultivate my heart mind, yet I know that the further I focus, the more I grow, and the easier it becomes.

Thank you for taking the time to read my journey!

With gratitude,
Ashley